How to write copy even grandpa would read

So you've written some great copy and uploaded on your website; bought some ad space where it would appear in front of the most people, and it still isn't producing the results you want. Now what? Consider my 6 rules of writing for the masses.

1. Avoid Jargon
Probably the hardest rule to abide by. You might think that your target audience should understand a certain level of jargon, but what if they don't? Do you really want to confuse those who don't understand all the industry terminology? The goal of copywriting should always focus on allowing the message to reach the maximum number of people.

2. Avoid complex sentence structure
This is a great exercise for coming up with really simple, easy-to-understand copy: Reduce your sentences to their lowest form. Instead of using a semicolon, use a period. Instead of adding a whole bunch of adverbs, use one really good one. If you can write a 60 word paragraph in 40 or 30 words, DO IT! It may seem obvious. If you're paying for ad space, why use 20 or 30 extra words. If your audience is reading you're ad, why make them read an extra 20 or 30 words to get your message. This point is often overlooked for cool, wordy copy. You're not writing for your editor, you're writing for your audience.

3. Give relevant and unique examples
This is where you really want to know you're market, and create examples that won't just illustrate the point you're trying to make, but also leave a lasting impression.

EXAMPLE:
Which one would you rather read?

... just like all those other high-end hand bags. (e.g. Gucci, Prada, LV)

... just like all those other high-end hand bags. (e.g. The Gucci bag Brad Pitt uses as a cary-on, or the Prada bag I tripped over this morning.)

Either example would give you the clarification you would require, but the second one provides an image and a story to go along with the clarification.

4. Use subheadings
This is, not only, the easiest way to organize your ideas, but also allows readers to find the information they need quickly. My suggestion for writing really great copy: use provocative headlines that relate back to the main headline.

EXAMPLE:

MAIN HEADLINE: How to write copy even grandpa would read

SUBHEAD: Avoid Jargon BETTER HEADLINE: Grandpa doesn't use jargon, why do you?

5. Avoid using an inappropriate tone
You need to know your market, and if you're writing for the masses, you need to understand how to use a neutral tone. Don't get me wrong; I'm not telling you to be boring. You can still be edgy without ostracizing everyone who doesn't like the tone you're writing in.

SUGGESTION: If you're not a very good writer, take acting classes. This will allow you to invoke the spirit of the least offensive voice for your market. Maybe writing as if you were a 5 year old would be a good tone. Maybe writing as though you were an angry teenaged boy talking to his mom on a cell phone would work best. Acting class can help you create characters, and get into character while you write.

6. Use technological support sparingly
I've seen many sites using Shockwave games, file uploading, text field inputs, video playback, interactive shooting features, and mouse icon manipulation just to have them get in the way of their overall message. The primary focus of your advertising, and all your collateral is to get the customer to buy whatever it is that you're selling. If you want to separate someone from their money, you better hit them with the best message you can come up with. (Generally the best messages are very simple, and eliminate all risks any perspective customer may have of making the purchase.)

Comments or questions: get.jordan@jordanjulien.com

Avoid the top 10 stupid grammar errors

1. its and it's

Honestly, if you're still messing this one up you shouldn't be writing for advertising.

TIP: generally in English, an 's adds is to the word your modifying. "It's cold. The heat's gone. Let's get out of here." this example shows usage, respectively, of the 's abbreviating is, has and us.

It is an easy one, if it has an apostrophe it stands for it is, if it doesn't it shows possession. "It's over there" or "Its construction has been ongoing for a month."


2. their, there, and they're

Their refers to someone's possession.

There refers to a place.

They're is short for they are.

EXAMPLES:

Their bed wasn't made all day

The bed is always over there, by the door.

They're always eating the right types of food.

3. your and you're

My most hated, and easiest to spot error.

Your = possessive form of you. EXAMPLES: Your nose. Your bed. Your window.

You're = abbreviated you are. EXAMPLES: You're wet. You're hot. You're smart.

PLEASE GET IT RIGHT!

4. Dangling participle

You may not recognize the name of the error, but here are some examples. I'm sure it'll all come back.

Walking to the store, a tree almost fell on me.
what it means: a tree was walking to the store.

Running from the police, my shirt and pants were ripped off on a fence post.
what it means: your shirt and pants were running from the police.

Both of these can be easily fixed by adding "While I was..." in front of the sentence. The dangling participle can always be fixed easily, but is often overlooked.

5. e.g. and i.e.

OK, most people who think these two are interchangeable are WRONG. If you use them in the wrong way, you're bound to look stupid.

e.g. = exempli gratia, which means "for example".

i.e. = id est, which means "that is".

So, you want to use e.g. when you want to give an example, or give several examples. You want to use i.e. when you want to restate what you just said in other words, or to clarify what you just said.

EXAMPLES:

The new super hero showed fantastic telekinetic abilities (i.e. the ability to move things with your mind).

The new super hero had many different abilities, e.g., shape-shifting, flying, and super speed.

Don't be considered uneducated, get the usage right!

6. loose and lose

It's an error that is so frequent I had to add it to the list. This is simply a spelling error.
(Lose means something is gone that was once there. Loose means something is less tight than it once was.)

EASY WAY TO STOP MAKING THE ERROR:

When you want to use lose. Lose one of the o's.
When you want to use loose. Loosen the word by adding an o.

It's dumb, and kind of inaccurate, but it works well.

7. that and which

Ok, the most simple explanation is:

THAT is used for identification

WHICH is used for description

EXAMPLES:

This is the color that you asked for, right? (Identifies the color)

This is the color which will be used on your car, right? (Describes the color)

Most editors will catch this error, but do yourself a favor and try not to make it in the first place.

8. affect and effect

This is here because it's common, but easy to avoid.

AFFECT (to affect) = influences something. Magnets affect television reception.

EFFECT (an effect) = a result of something. Magnets cause a distortion effect on television screens.

9. misplaced or dangling modifiers

Generally, this just means there is a word, or group of words, that don't have a clear referral within the sentence.

EXAMPLE:

Using a cup, the water was bailed from the boat.
(The water didn't use the cup, and the cup wasn't bailed from the boat.)

Usually, this would be fixed by saying: He bailed the water from the boat using a cup.


10. comma splice

Simple. This happens when you have 2 main clauses connected by a comma.

EXAMPLE:

When you add boiling water to Jell-o, you get a liquid, solid Jell-o is only achieved after it sets in a cool place.

3 easy fixes:

Replace with a period:
When you add boiling water to Jell-o, you get a liquid. Solid Jell-o is only achieved after it sets in a cool place.

Add a conjunction:
When you add boiling water to Jell-o, you get a liquid, but solid Jell-o is only achieved after it sets in a cool place.

Replace with a semicolon:
When you add boiling water to Jell-o, you get a liquid; solid Jell-o is only achieved after it sets in a cool place.

Avoid these main grammar errors and avoid looking stupid!

How to write GREAT web copy!

What does 8 years of college/ university, 7 years of practical experience, and over $300,000 buy you? The 5 simple steps to writing great web copy that people will actually read.

Here's what I've come up with:

1. Keep it simple

Ok, most people already realize that they should boil down their copy to leave a condensed, concise version for the web. No one likes staring at a screen for too long. The biggest mistake people make is opening their article (or whatever it is you're writing) with an overly complex opening. Open small, leave the explanations for under subheadings; that way people can pick and choose which pieces of information they want to read.

2. Answer a question with your headline

Most people are online looking for answers to questions, or browsing through pages waiting for some answer to a question they think is interesting. The easiest way to peak someone's interest is by answering a question in your headline.

EXAMPLES:
How to write great web copy
10 books you should read before you die
What you should know about raising kids
The best time to plant tomatoes

3. Use subheads

As I alluded to before, subheadings are here to be used ... so use them. They are great for organizing information into bite-sized chunks. People love to read bite-sized bits of information. They also allow readers to skip past information that they already know. Write compelling, provocative subheadings, but don't make them more than one line long. Over 45% of readers will not read more than one line in a subheading, so keep it short or you may lose almost half of your message.

4. Use highlights

The best way to keep people reading is by making a promise of something good to come. The easiest way to make a promise of something good is by making an important word, line, or section highlighted. You can bold it, make it a different color, underline it, pull out a quote, or many many other things. The coolest thing about web copy is that there are so many ways to do everything.

HINT: You can also highlight a particular point by separating the text from the rest of the copy under a "secret subhead". Use something like "HINT", "WARNING", "CAUTION", "NOTE", or simply an " * " to indicate an important piece of information.


5. Make it relevant

Some people love to throw photo's, video, PDF's, and all sorts of media into their pages for visual stimulation. I know this article is supposed to be about web copy, but I needed to tell you that too much clutter within your copy could be detrimental. The point of your page is to convey a message by writing your opinion, the facts, or whatever you want on a particular subject. The point of media on your page is to support your words, not interfere with them. My suggestion is to use images, video, flash, and everything else, very sparingly. If you are referring directly to something in your text, try adding a link to the media rather than embedding it.

In the end, it's up to you how you want to write. These are some great guidelines that I've come up with, that I don't always follow. At the end of your page make sure you close it properly: if you're selling something, add a call to action; if you've written an opinion piece, add a question readers can answer by leaving comments; if you're asking for information, make sure you leave multiple channels for contact.

I would love to hear what you think. Feel free to comment, or visit my home page at www.jordanjulien.com

The Scam

Ok, I understand the whole eBay craze. People like shopping, people like getting great deals, and people love to get money for their used stuff. The whole online bidding system was genius, so why are there so many scams going on? Is there a way to truly protect yourself? Is there a better way eBay can do business?

Firstly, I think having an innate seller trust built in to the system of bidding is why they're are so many scammers. It's all to easy to find some photos of anything online and create an eBay account to sell something you don't have. Using systems such as PayPal, eBay has been able to prevent buyers from getting ripped off. But now there are other scams that are a bit harder to stop. There are people making phony bids on items, hoping to win, then paying with a fake PayPal email or with a counterfeit e-check. This causes two problems: first, it causes legitimate buyers to be unable to win your items, which causes your eBay fees to go up without any cause. If you end up falling for their fake email or e-check, you also risk loosing your items to some scammer.

Now, are there ways you can protect yourself? Yes! There is a security department at eBay that sniffs out and reports suspicious activity to interested parties. The problem is, there are so many scammers, that it's almost impossible to detect them all. You can also detect some scams on you're own. If your familiar with the South African scam's, you'll pretty much realize you shouldn't trust any incoming bids from anyone from South Africa. All these scams are pretty discouraging for new eBayer's. Why should we have to familiarize ourselves with scams to be able to use eBay?

The answer? eBay has become too large. With a very wide reach across the globe, eBay has become so big that its attracted many people who just want to make a quick buck the illegal way. So, rather than just identifying the problem, here are a few solutions:

A) eBay sponsored pick-up stores in major markets. Some of these type of stores have been set up by eBayers, but they would be more effective if they were actually run by eBay. The general idea is that eBay would charge a higher percentage of the total sale, but would take care of all the eBay advertising, selling, answering of questions, shipping, and ensuring payment. Once payment is received, the seller would just go and pick up a check from eBay. Since eBay would be selling the items for you, you may end up receiving higher bids, since there is no risk of not receiving the item. (because eBay would be holding it)

B) eBay escrow - This could be done in conjunction with FedEx. Prior to listing, items could be shipped to an eBay escrow warehouse to eliminate the threat of not receiving an item. Payment for these items could be made to an eBay escrow account which would eliminate the possibility of having a counterfeit check or fake pay-pal email sent as payment.

In essence, I think eBay has a duty to stop spending so much money on security and buying up de-funked ISP's and start spending money on REAL security. The two solutions I've suggested will take some major investments on eBay's part, but will renew their name. Day-after-day they're becoming known as a rip off. If you buy something online, don't expect to receive it as it appears, if you expect to receive it at all. If you dare sell something, be prepared for a slew of questions, fake bids, and possibly counterfeit checks that will screw up your entire bank account. Why would anyone choose eBay over Craigslist?

eBay, you're cute, but you're really starting to suck. START SPENDING YOU'RE MONEY IN THE RIGHT WAY!

NEWS REPORT ON A SCAM:



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